Long time……. NO C…directly M.
Yes, this was such a long period … although I wrote 3 stories but postponed their blog birth because some people who know they suck, they heard about it and was upset to know that secret is out on the street.
Anyways, I have so many friends from management background and vice versa, so decided to devote my 5 days blog entry to them. People write so much about geeks, nerds and socially deprived software people however we tend to keep Management aside, for abuses after appraisal and for jokes in lunchtime.
History will remember me; I gave them a chance to be recognized….so be a part of history.
Before starting, let me take this opportunity to deny that it’s inspired from any of my management friends….this is a non management view of Management. I want you folks to read it, decide which types are you and let me know by your kind comments…phone calls strictly from beautiful management people. Say no to DOSTANA.
Management Type 001: Born Leaders
They are sincere, committed and light hearted; share their trade secrets with you. This type of management loves their job and backs their team to the tilt. They want you to learn everything and never fail on your deadline.
They are simply adorable but can’t handle criticism because according to their memory, they invented all that is good around them and take ownership of the “Perfect” word. They are very demanding too so if you are a thick skinned employee; your days are numbered.
Management Type 002: Silent Leaders
They speak very less, portray themselves as very sincere, think of themselves as washer man, who is out to clean all the mess. But beware readers; if you are his team member…..he treats you like donkey. Although you may be working day and night, he gives a dim and treats you with peanuts for good environment. He speaks little because he does not want to blow his trumpet and tell the world that he is a born duffer and reached to this position because of brotherly love.
If you are working under a guy like this, you greet him with pleasantries and gift him freebies. Complete the task given by him or give him some nonsense reason, he won’t understand it anyways. You can find them sitting with a stony silence and speak very little.
Management Type 003: Leaders with less chance
They are brilliant in their job, make sense whenever they speak but rarely respected among their colleagues. Fellow management is always jealous of his knowledge and how he can think it before me syndrome. They have to do with so less chance that they hardly get entertained and asked for their opinion. People know them as doer but are scared of them as doing it so perfectly and fear of being replaced.
If some management person explained to you brilliantly and afterwards some other person says, he is bloody fool. Then you are right there, Eureka! Eureka!! You have found number 003 and 004 management.
Management Type 004: Learning Leaders
They are non approachable and they reproach as everybody else is idiot. Be happy guys….these types of management people are very loyal to fellow idiots. Since they came from hell, they don’t fear the great fall. Don’t scare them as they have nothing to loose and can hit you harder.
You will find them slogging and learning at the same time. After learning for first time, they will pretend to know it for years….so keep them deprived from education and kick them like dog because once kept near, they bite.
Management Type 005: Punching bag leaders
They are punching bags and always found strolling around here and there. They acknowledge that they don’t know stuff but stick to their own little knowledge type of things, other people call it sickness.
They are process oriented and gets confused at drop of a hat. They confute of anything which runs faster than a snail. They believe in history and want to remain in history. They don’t trust people because they fear you will throw them out of his cabin by occupying his place. Although they always get a boot but they come with a fevicol licked back. If you insult them for showing the door…they will laugh about it and confute it in writing.
Management type 006: tough nut
This type of management people are very straight forward and demand action at their nod. They tend to get to the interior type of problems and find you playing with them. So guyz, be aware if you are delaying something or you are the reason behind some problem…….you will be under fire.
They may look casual and easy to approach but they are very tough nut to crack.
Management type 007: James Bond
Management type 007 does resemble James Bond not just because they share the lucky number but because they are master of all trades. They have an opinion for everything and anything on this earth and they love to poke their bloody nose in all directions.
Although this management type can do justice with every task given to them because of their vast resources and learning capability however flip side is they scratch everyone so everybody is looking for opportunity to have a go at him/her. Be aware, they have a license to kill.
Management type 008: Creative Intellect
They are known as intellects and generally from creamy educational institutes and acts as a showcase for organization. They do have fancy degrees and fancy posts but in reality they never have the power.
Upper stanza of management uses them to hide their original self. They are involved in creative work which does not benefit anyone but gives a reason to him to be occupied.
Management Type 009: Intellect multiplied by 10
This management type of people is intellect multiplied by 10 and outspoken. Here “Outspoken” means speaking even outside their periphery and keep speaking till everyone says “enough is enough” but this type of management is hired for internal entertainment and punishment to client …..So you can’t really help yourself.
If you are working under this type of guy, your chances of being busy are more …look pre-occupied in some serious stuff and you will be epitome of organization in his eyes.
Management Type 010: Good for nothing
This Management type of people are typical managers, they don’t work but believe in torturing you so that you work for them. You will always find them roaming with folded hands and standing just behind you when you opened your personal emails.
They will always find excuses to make you do their work and show gratitude for things , they have never done for you.
Management type 011: subject experts
They are in management because they were never comfortable in their core areas so they enter management. Although their intentions are sincere, but un-intentionally some or the other damage happens.
You will find them getting into various discussions but results…who the heck invented this word. Nepolean didn’t had IMPOSSIBLE, he does not have RESULT.. Help save my friends from these all type of management people….help India.
This was written for fun and I hope you don’t associate yourself from any of these and think it’s inspired by you.
I take this opportunity to thank none of you, who read this, because it’s not inspired by you.
Did you find your own type, if yes..be happy you are online and world will recognize you by googling “Management Type”. If No, then keep your fingers crossed, this is 1 of 5 part series.
Enjoy and keep your cool….don’t fume …it’s quite HOT right here.